You are sitting for hours, books open, yet nothing is moving. You are stuck because you are letting your phone, your cravings, and your mood call the shots. Who’s actually in the driver’s seat of your life, you or your nafs?
Want control over your life? Meet Tazkiyah (self-purification) today. The concept sounds fancy, but it is the key to self-control and success.
A Governor with Zero Spotlight
Back in the day, Damascus was the “it” city, think of London and NYC today. When the Muslims took over Damascus, Abu Ubaidah ibn al-Jarrah RA became the governor.
Once Caliph Umar ibn al-Khattab RA visited Abu Ubaidah, he expected to see a palace. Instead, he found:
- A simple mat to sleep on.
- A bow and an arrow on the wall.
- Some bread and dates for food.
Seeing this, Umar RA said, “By Allah, the world has affected all of us, but not you.”
The point here is not that we all start living on mats and dates! But not to get distracted by “stuff” around us so that we can focus on our purpose.
The Marshmallow Test: Can You Wait?
A famous experiment, the ‘marshmallow experiment,’ was done on kids. It tested children’s ability to delay gratification. They told the kids, “You can have one marshmallow now, or if you wait for 15 mins, you can have two.” Decades later, researchers checked in on those kids. The ones who waited for 15 mins were more successful, had better grades, and were more stable.
This shows that success is deeply linked to self-control.
The 10-minute delivery apps have led to the problem of instant gratification. If you ‘WhatsApp’ someone, you want an instant reply, or else you start getting impatient! You are addicted to instant dopamine and have forgotten your purpose. You rarely sit and reflect: Where is my life going? How am I treating my parents? What am I doing with my time?
Allah swt says that the successful is the one who purifies his soul. Self-control is essential for leadership, success, and fine character. Without it, a person can never succeed.
The Three Levels of Your NAFS
Your nafs (soul) is like a character that levels up and down based on your choices.
- Nafs al-Ammarah (The Wild Horse): This is the part of you that pushes you towards bad habits or doomscrolling. If you don’t tame this horse, it will run you off a cliff.
- Nafs al-Lawwamah (The Internal Alarm): This is your conscience of right and wrong. It’s that “ugh, I shouldn’t have said that” feeling. It’s a gift! It keeps you in check.
- Nafs al-Mutma’innah (The Elite Level): A soul at peace. You get here by connecting to the Qur’an and Sunnah. By being a good Muslim. Success can never be defined by your grades alone, it comes when your soul reaches this elite level.
How to Be Successful
If you want to be successful and not a follower of your desires, practice these self-control tips:
- Audit Your Environment: If you’re trying to stop a bad habit, get out of the “room” (online or offline) where it happens.
- The Strategy of Yusuf AS: When Prophet Yusuf was tempted, he didn’t negotiate with the situation. He literally tried to run away. He preferred prison over sin! Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is to hit the exit button.
- Feed Your Soul: You spend so much time on dopamine that it weakens your souls; recharge it with prayer, Qur’an and sincere dua’.
- Find Your “Why”: Why are you here? If you know your purpose, the distractions lose their grip.
The Challenge: What one step can you take to show your “nafs ammarah” who’s the boss?
jazak allahu khair!